dimanche

felt like shit at 5am

went with mom and dad to an afternoon party
dad got us drunk all day with beers
we went back home at six
smoked a joint at nine chilling on the web
i was d e s t r o y e d
ended blacking out with "gerudo town (night)" music
in headphones over my spliff and beer
then i woke up at 3am
everything went batshit
stressed over unanswered mails
stressed over past crushes
can't go back to sleep and
feel like being weird
feel like brushing my teeth but
feel like smoking again
feel bad over basic behaviour
when i shouldn't? when life is what it is
in the comfort of my bed
here is my weakness
it's a gold plated luxury
i fear my dreams
aren't even worth aiming, for
do i even fight? do i even work for these goals?
where am i, i know this
whereas eye eygoddis

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